The Diary of Thalia Grace
by arusmani
Summary: So welcome to my diary, mortal. Here's the diary of your typical demigod. Monster-fighting, terrible prophecies, almost dying, well, all in a day's work right? Be prepared to enter the thoughts of yours truly at the expense of your sanity. Enjoy! - Thalia
1. July 19, 2010

The Diary of Thalia Grace

July 19, 2009

And I had to get turned into a stupid tree.

Isn't that a great way to start a diary entry? To be honest, I just changed from tree-form less than three hours ago. I can't sleep. Hippie Zeus (King of the Gods, Lord of the Sky, yada yada yada) is staring bolts of lightning at me. Figuratively, not literally. He's this 10 feet tall statue just sitting in the middle of my Cabin. He's also my dad. Zeus is. Not the statue. It's his way of saying welcome back, I suppose.

This is Luke's old diary. I was shaking out my old bedroll when this dog-eared diary just tumbled out. I had nearly forgotten about it. Halcyon gave it to Luke and told him to write in it and learn from Hal's mistakes. Since I have the journal, I guess I'll have to do the same. Write in it. Learn from Luke's mistakes this time. I can still remember him as if it was yesterday (It really does feel like yesterday. Time is weird when you're a tree): Luke, bent over the journal, scribbling feverishly in it when it was his turn to take watch and when he thought no one was looking. I can almost smell his familiar scent as I held the diary close to me and breathed in its dusty, travel-worn pages. Wow. Was that a bad idea or what? I still have tears in my eyes from all the coughing.

Holding that book in my hands, I can almost believe that the old Luke, the one didn't turn against his friends, the one that honored his promises, still existed. Almost. The last vestiges of that boy were forever removed when Luke stabbed me with that poisoned spiel. I'll never be able to do so much as snap a twig after that. I didn't know it was possible to feel so much pain, with so much clarity and detail—I wished I could lose consciousness. I could feel the poison destroying the cells of my host tree, slowly spreading though my entire being. I felt myself bending forward as my tree slumped forward. My sheer helplessness was mind-boggling—I couldn't even lift a finger to defend myself.

That hypocrite. Trying to destroy the only place we had ever found peace, food, a bed to sleep in, safety—and how? By stabbing my tree. I found a perverse pleasure in the fact that even though I had sacrificed myself for Annabeth _and Luke_, I would continually ensure no other demigods were killed within the camp's borders by reinforcing the monster wards with my spirit. It was all I had. And then _he_ came. Luke. His hair was cropped short. He had a long, ugly scar down the side of his face. He had this maniacal twisted spark in his blue eyes, something that I had seen briefly cross his face only once or twice. His expression softened and the spark dimmed as he stared into the depths of my tree, as if he could see my soul. I wanted to reach out and touch him. I had to tell him…I was a coward. I'm sorry. Somewhere in the distance I could dimly register sounds coming from camp. With a look of alarm, Luke pulled out that spiel from his pocket. He said something to me.

"I'm doing this for the both of us Thalia. You're coming back."

Just like that he stabs that wretched thing into my side. And the pain begins.

Wow. I'm tired. After all, I spent the better part of seven years standing up.

I don't know when I'll write in this again. But I sure hope you, whoever you are (impressionable demigod, a monster that just defeated me, a mortal reading this for kicks), learned something.

Signing off for now

Thalia Grace


	2. December 13, 2010

Entry 2

December 13, 2010

So here's the story of how I got turned into a tree.

I think this diary is a good idea. As cheesy as it sounds, its helping me sort things out and...what was that word? Assimilate. Assimilate with my new situation. I finally understood what Hal meant by his ominous (to say the very least) prediction he made about my future. Parts of it anyhow. I won't even dare to understand what he meant by me reuniting with my family. I won't even dare to hope.

If you (whoever you are) must know, I'm waiting outside my boarding school, waiting for Percy's mom to pick me up. It's mortifying, in this adorable way, how his mom has to drive us to our battles. For what it's worth, I tried to track down my own mother. If Halcyon meant what I thought he did I…I needed answers. But no such luck. Mom is dead. Apparently she died two years ago. Where was I? What was I doing? Right. I was a tree.

Back to the story. We demigods have the focus of a goldfish.

Annabeth barely remembers what happened that day. Or perhaps she doesn't want to. It was the day our family fell apart. To this day, I can't believe how she saved Luke and me. We were forced to watch helplessly, hanging upside down by chains, while Annabeth struggled to find her way around that terrifying maze, crying and screaming our names. We weren't able to move or speak. It would have been merciful if the Cyclops had knocked us out. I remember Luke, his eyes wide with fear for Annabeth, undoubtedly mirrored my own. That Cyclops, mimicking our voices perfectly as he pretended to shout for help. That made Annabeth sob harder. It was probably the most terrifying experience of my life. She saved our lives when she stabbed that monster in the foot. But still…way too close for comfort.

In my strange dreamlike tree phase, I had plenty of time to think. I had always blamed Luke for that. After our disastrous encounter with Hermes at his mom's house, Luke had become increasingly moody and sullen, like he had something to prove. This attitude was only exacerbated when Grover found us. I knew why. We had been on the run for nearly a year, with a seven year old kid, for crying out loud! If there was a camp out there designed to keep people like ussafe, why hadn't they found us sooner? We were half dying of starvation. The other half, well, monster attacks had that covered. Hermes knew we were on the run. He's the god of communications. Couldn't the jerk _communicate_ with Camp Half-Blood that half-blood kids were out on the street fighting for their lives any sooner? But it was no excuse if he was going to pick fights with every monster within a ten-mile radius, continually putting Annabeth in danger. She could defend herself just fine for a 7 year old, but Luke and I couldn't stand the idea of Annabeth getting hurt. As he often joked, we were the mommy and daddy of the bunch. We had to take care of our kid, no matter what.

Many people would think this was the weirdest, most awkward agreement two teenagers could ever have. But the reality of it wasn't weird at all. All the monsters and the perpetual danger threw us together, causing us to rely on each other and trust each other like family. Luke would bring the food, medicine, ambrosia, and nectar. I would set up a safe house and scrounge up extra clothes to replace the ones monsters had destroyed. Annabeth would go with either one of us, even being our mini-strategist if we ever needed. See? One happy family. Despite Luke's bitterness and anger, among other things, he was strong and dependable. It crossed my mind, from time to time, what it would be like for real someday. Whenever I saw his eyes, sparking after an exceptional haul, or Annabeth's childlike giggles after he made some lame joke, it made me think, you know? Maybe...there was more to our friendship, to Luke and I, than a fierce will to survive.

So much has changed since then. Since that kiss. It was right before my final stand at Half-Blood Hill. We had somehow escaped that horrifying Cyclops lair. We had fought the monster off, and we started running without stop. Grover led us and thankfully, he didn't mess up this time. Half-Blood Hill was just within sight. The beautiful view was marred slightly by the group of monsters waiting for us at the summit.

Unfortunately, monsters comprised of only a few of my enemies. Since I was a child of Zeus and he had broken some kind of weird divine pact by having me, Hades went out of his way to make my life a living hell. And guess who was waiting for us at Half-Blood Hill? Only some of Hades's most bloodthirsty minions. They were a whole army. There was no way we could defeat them all. We were far enough that they hadn't seen us yet, but sooner or later they'd smell us and we be monster-chow...again. This was my fault. Why? Because I was born. But I knew what to do. And so did Luke.

I grabbed Grover by the shoulder. He was chewing on his tin cans, clearly terrified.

"Grover! I need you to take Annabeth to camp." Luke nodded in agreement.

"What?! I can't do that! You're my responsibility!" Grover started sniffing like he was about to cry.

"Grover, now is not the time! Me and Luke will distract them. You need to take Annabeth within the camp borders. Keep Annabeth safe."

"But—"

Annabeth's eyes widened. "I can't go without you guys. I'm good with my dagger Thalia! Let me kill monsters!"

"No!" Luke shouted. Annabeth shrunk from him, frightened. Luke softened. He grabbed her shoulders and knelt to her level. "We'll be coming right after you, okay? As soon as the monsters see us, grab Grover's hand and run towards the camp. Don't worry. We'll be fine. I promise."

Another promise broken.

Annabeth drew in a shaky breath. "Okay. Be safe." She hugged both of us tightly, burying her face in our arms. I can still feel her tears on my sleeves. Then she grabbed Grover's hand. He looked at us.

"I'm going to drop Annabeth. Then I'm coming right back. I'm not leaving you guys like this!"

I could hear lots of shrieking, which meant that either the monsters had found us or a bunch of preteen girls had just spotted Justin Bieber.

"Guuuuys! Go go go!" I shoved Grover and Annabeth and they ran for all they were worth.

I looked at Luke. He pulled out his golf club and had a determined set to his jaw.

"C'mon. Lets send these uglies to the Underworld the hard way."

We charged towards the monsters, yelling our best disses and giving the monster army something to direct their attention to.

Luke whacked monsters with his nine-iron. They exploded into dust when I swung my Celestial bronze spear into their faces.

We slashed and jabbed and fought like demons. But despite our best efforts we were being overwhelmed. When one monster exploded into dust, three more took its place. I didn't draw our Aegis in the fear that the monsters will run away from us and towards Annabeth and Grover. But we were losing breathing room. My swings felt heavier. Time lost meaning. The monsters just kept coming. The earth yielded more and more horrors. In my peripheral vision, I saw one of the monsters engage Annabeth in battle. I cried out, but to my surprise, Annabeth stabbed the monster with her dagger and the monster exploded into golden dust. Another took its place.

I wanted to run to Annabeth's aid, but I had too many monsters on me to break away and help her. To my immense relief, I saw the borders of Camp Half-Blood shimmer as Annabeth and Grover finally made it over the camp borders.

I couldn't put off raising my shield any longer. I shouted _"Aegis!" _and my shield spiraled in front of me. Luke knew to roll backward as he hid behind my shield. With large amounts of shrieking and screaming, the monster army retreated, recoiling from the shape of Medusa's head on my shield. I breathed a sigh of relief. Luke was heaving.

"Annabeth?" he asked.

"Safe." I mumbled. Thunder roared above us. I looked upwards, and something literally went _click _in my brain. A plan started to take shape. A very dangerous plan. But one of us could escape. I had never been more afraid than I had been at this point. A whole series of emotions rolled through me—disappointment that I would never be reunited with my family, bitter resentment towards the gods for putting me into some dumb prophecy, sadness that I could never entertain the possibility of a future with Luke, and…then I glimpsed Annabeth. Her eyes were wide with anxiety as she witnessed our progress towards Half-Blood Hill. Then I felt overwhelming love for Annabeth. And Luke. I had to protect them both. All of this would be for nothing if I let them die. So before I lost my nerve, I started telling Luke my plan.

"Luke! They want me, not you. Run towards camp. They won't chase you…I think."

I expected him to look outraged. Saying that he met my expectations would be an understatement.

"Thalia. No! We're doing this together!"

"Luke I actually have a plan. Now shut up and listen."

He listened intently while I relayed my entire plan to him. He still refused to leave my side until I reminded him and Annabeth needed us. At least one of us needs to survive for her. Luke clenched his jaw, but he understood. I continued telling him my plan.

"At my word, when I raise Aegis to the sky, you are going to run. Understood?

"But—"

"I'm going to call down lightning. It'll shatter my Celestial bronze spear. That kind of explosion will incinerate the entire monster army. Then I'll…I'll meet you at camp"

"Isn't that explosion going to kill you?"

"I don't—I don't know Luke. If the gods have any decency they will ensure I survive this encounter."

Luke opened and closed his mouth like a floundering fish. The monsters had gotten over their initial surprise and fear and were edging towards us, weapons drawn and eyes closed. I expected him to throw caution to the winds and run out from under the shield and ruin everything. What he did instead surprised me even more.

He kissed me.

His hands gripped my jacket as he pulled me towards him in a crushing embrace. His lips burned on mine. I could feel his tears on my cheek. Before I could react, Luke pulled away and gripped my face in his hands. I met his gaze, barely holding in tears of my own.

"Do what you have to. But come back to me."

"Luke, I'm sorry—"

"Promise?"

"Okay I—I promise."

He wiped his grimy face with his equally grimy hand and ran out from under the shield with a battle cry, yelling the most profane disses under the sun. _Gods he's beautiful_ I thought to myself as I saw him run towards Half-Blood Hill, brandishing his golf club, with several monsters in hot pursuit. Fortunately, most of the monsters were still focused on me.

I was terrified. But more than that, I truly lamented that Luke and I could never have a future together, not anymore. I knew Zeus wouldn't save me from being blown to bits. This was the end.

With that happy thought, I cast my mind towards the skies and I focused every fiber of my being into summoning the biggest, baddest, lightning bolt in history. I pleaded to Zeus. I was willing to ignore the fact that he was a massive jerk if he saved my friends. I offered my life in exchange.

The sky rumbled with an earsplitting racket. The sky changed colors as a massive purple storm cloud formed a funnel around my raised spear. With a sound of a few dozen artillery guns, a lightning bolt descended from the sky made contact with my spear.

And then a lot of things happened very quickly.

Too much energy went into my spear for it to hold. With a blinding flash of light the Celestial bronze exploded like the world's most devastating nuclear bomb. The world ripped into shreds before my eyes as I flew from the explosion like shrapnel. I flew up into the air, with searing heat on my back. I was suspended in the air and my short miserable life literally flashed before my eyes.

Then I began to fall.

I'd like to say I blacked out. But the gods weren't feeling particularly merciful that day. I fell into the massive crater I had made with my explosion with a bone-breaking crash. Literally. I could somehow hear Luke screaming my name, sobbing, as he saw me free-fall. I just lay there, in more pain than I had ever experienced. I felt like I was dipped in acid, set on fire, and then run over with a truck. Repeatedly. It was hard to breathe. I felt the life slowly drain out of my as I struggled to maintain consciousness. Black spots were tugging at the edges of my vision. And all of a sudden Luke was hanging over me, his beautiful blue eyes stormy with worry and outrage at my betrayal. In my current mental state, I vaguely considered last words. Strangely enough, I hadn't thought this through, despite the dozens of times I had been in life/death situations. But I had to remind Luke…

"Family. You promised, Luke." I managed to choke out.

The rage and hurt on his face cut me to my core.

"_You _promised, Thalia!" He may as well have stabbed me with a rusty dagger. His pain cut through the reddish haze of my agony as the gods found new kinds of torture to throw at me.

I wanted to say something, anything, to remove the look on his face, but all my remaining energy drained from my limbs as I gave up clinging to life.

What happened next is harder to describe—I felt myself rising. I could no longer feel any pain. I think could see my own broken body on the ground, with Luke huddled over it, crying like a baby. And then, with a shimmer I saw…my dad. The Lord of the Skies himself: Zeus. He was this big muscular bearded dude, dressed in a ceremonial Greek _chiton_. Listening to Luke's rants for so long, I half-expected Zeus to sprout devilish fangs and cackle like an evil witch. What I hadn't expected was to see him look grieved, like a real father would, at the sight of his daughter's dead body. He knelt and placed a gentle hand on my…well…the body's…cheek. I could barely make out his words but I could swear I heard him say:

"My dear, brave, Thalia. I'm so very sorry to have brought the fate of a hero upon you. You don't deserve to die for my mistake."

Luke slowly came to realize whom he was kneeling next to. He straightened up, anger and grief contorting his features and screamed at him.

"YOU KILLED HER? YOU? HER OWN FATHER?!"

With every word, Luke punched Zeus in the chest. In hindsight, that was probably a bad idea. Zeus could have turned him into a charred lump of barbecue meat with a flick of his finger. Instead, he let Luke punch him, his shoulders slumping with every blow. Luke was pretty fearsome with hand-to-hand combat, but Zeus didn't even recoil with the punches. After a few more hits, he gently took Luke's wrists and pushed him away, as if Luke were as light as a feather. Zeus pressed Luke's forehead with his index finger, and Luke's eyes rolled into his head as he collapsed onto the floor. In any normal situation I probably would have been furious, but in my weird transition state, it was hard to feel anything really.

I realize now that writing about this experience is harder and weirder the more brain cells I waste trying to describe it.

Well, whatever.

So you know that when you die, you kinda expect your soul or whatever metaphysical thing you become to float upwards or something, right? I don't know how this whole dying thing works. But I didn't _feel_ like I was dying or going to the Underworld or anything.

I could feel my…awareness…or whatever this was, being sucked back towards earth, towards my body. Which was cool and all, except my body shimmered and vanished. I was moving faster towards earth and I found myself grounded…uh…underground, if you can believe it. It was like my soul had found a new host. Inside a seed? A sapling? I don't even know. But I could feel myself growing slowly. I saw everything pass me by like a time-lapse movie. I could somehow feel _everything_. Every leaf on my tree, every branch, the sunlight. I could feel what was happening hundreds of meters underground. It was kinda cool, in a weird sort of way.

But do you know what the worst part was? Thinking. Regretting all the decisions I made. That was all I could do. Things I wanted to do, things I wanted to say, to Luke, to Annabeth, my mom…even Zeus. I should have told Luke how I felt. I wonder what he told Annabeth, when she didn't see me running to safety with Luke. I don't know what I'd say to my mother, but I understood why she did what she did. The gods took their anger and resentment out on innocent people. I really wondered if Jason died at all. And I suppose I'd hand Zeus the not-the-lamest-dad award. I wasn't dead. Or so I hoped. But neither were my friends. Being stuck as a tree for a while taught me to have hope. I'd have to cling on to even the most microscopic possibilities of a happy ending.

Maybe there's one for all of us. A happy ending, that is. I mean, if I can be turned into a tree and then turned _back_ into a demigod, then, well, anything's possible, right?

My hand is literally cramping up. Its hard to believe how much I can write when I'm bored. Nerdy demigod, much? Well, I can see Mrs. Jackson's Prius pulling up. I'd better hide this diary ASAP. I'm not sure I want them to know that I even _have_ a diary.

Like I said. Don't get your hopes up about this diary thing. I'm probably not going to write in this journal again. Demigods have better things to do, like blowing up monsters and doing math homework.

Bye.

Thalia


End file.
